So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
