I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just cropdusted the office
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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