Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
