god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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