so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
