i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
