I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
