I puked a lego.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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