I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
