Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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