ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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