you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm bleeding and have questions
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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