Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize