Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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