in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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