You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
