You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
