He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
