Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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