plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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