I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Randomize