Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
