Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
