rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
