"it" just moved
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
