I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
