What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
