I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Randomize
