Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its about making memories worth repressing
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
