Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize