Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize