1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
