my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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