forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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