May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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