we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
