I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
