I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We need to get me chipped asap
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
