tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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