He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
