Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
