I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize