I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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