Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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