I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
