9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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