Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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