No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Life is so much better after having sex.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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