His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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