I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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