Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize