it wasn't lemon gatorade
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The Olympian is in my bed
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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