We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So much Jack, so little girl.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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