living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
