Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize