I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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