why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
