We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
