My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
