i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
