when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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